Where Would I Look For This Silverware First?

 I discovered Dana K. White and her methods of decluttering and home maintenance a couple of years ago, and the way she talks about it resonates with me. One of her tips is, when dealing with an item that doesn't have an established "home" (storage location), ask yourself, "If I needed this, where would I look for it first?" Then, whatever comes to mind, store the item there. 

We recently went on a binge of decluttering and reorganizing our glasses and mugs (of which we had MANY! Almost none matching! I don't even know how that happened.) One box held gold-rimmed drinking glasses that we only use for company, along with my fancy silverware that we also only use for company because my husband doesn't like it. We decided to let go of the drinking glasses, which meant that the Zip-loc of silverware had to come out of the box. 

It sat on the kitchen counter for some time, seeming to ask me, every time I noticed it, "Where is my new home?" My answer to "where would I look for this first?" was a drawer by the oven that holds season-specific paper napkins (used for company) and another set of silverware that we only use for company (one which my husband likes) along with placemats, cloth napkins, etc. The problem was, I knew that drawer was full. 

Dana's advice is, if the place you would look for an item is full, you need to remove some other item that is less deserving of that space to make room for it (or decide that the item in question isn't worthy of staying in your house.) I finally decided to take a look at that drawer. 

I pulled out the cloth napkins (some of which are quite stained), some dish towels that had ended up there because they don't fit in the dish towel drawer (and are the more worn/stained ones), the seasonal dish towels, and the placemats. At the bottom I discovered a bunch of extra shelf supports for our cabinets. I had been wondering recently where those had ended up. I also discovered the packaging from a digital thermometer, which we keep in a tool carousel. So I moved the shelf supports to a more obvious place in a nearby cabinet, got rid of the thermometer packaging (only keeping the instructions, which we have a file for), and with some reorganization, I was able to fit everything else, including the fancy silverware, into the drawer! 

That drawer could use more decluttering. Some of the stained napkins and worn-out dish towels could go. But I wasn't quite up for making those decisions, and since it all fit, I didn't need to yet. 

So now the fancy silverware has a home, and that's one obligation off the unwritten to-do list. 

Each Object Is An Obligation

This title is something my husband said not long ago, and I found it somewhat profound. Each item in our home, as well as the home itself, implies an obligation to either use it, maintain it, appreciate it, rehome it, trash it, or some combination. The more stuff you have, the more the sense of obligation, even if you haven't articulated the specific to-do items to yourself. 

I recently purchased a new laptop, as my old one's battery was shot. That purchase created the obligation of setting up the new laptop and transferring programs and documents from the old one. Eventually I'll completely wipe it and get rid of it, since we don't have a use for a laptop that only works while plugged in. (I'm hoping to find someone who does.)

Today I have been working on the transfer, and it's been a trial. The main problem has been that Windows has this cloud-sharing feature called OneDrive, which can be great when you want to access a document from more than one device. It's not great when it decides that all the desktop icons on each of your devices should be copied onto the other devices, regardless of whether they will function. We have a desktop computer in addition to the two laptops which got caught up in this mess. So I've been watching video tutorials trying to figure out how to sync up the things I want without syncing everything. After two hours, it looks like I've got everything settled the way I want it. Now I'm working on copying over some software programs that aren't part of Microsoft and need to be handled individually.

As I was struggling with the computers, I occasionally felt anxiety rising up, like, "This is taking too long! I wanted to get this done today!" This anxiety is a common feeling for me, usually when I'm trying to rush through a task after having procrastinated and wasted time, so I'm mad at myself as well. But today, I had not procrastinated. (Well, only a little bit.) And so I told myself, "It's okay. It's taking some time, but you're making progress as best as you can. Just keep going." 

With the title of this post, I had expected to write about re-homing some items that we've decided don't fit our life. That is an ongoing project, because we have way too much to fit it comfortably in our home. (Not much storage space.) But I have not gotten to that yet this week. Tomorrow is about finishing the polyurethane on a door and its jamb, as well as cleaning up its hinges so we can hang it this weekend. I may have time to work on re-homing things while the polyurethane is drying, but I may also find that there are more urgent things to attend to before I go to work Friday. We shall see. 

My Situation

I am writing this blog for myself more than in hopes of an audience. I'm taking a page out of Dana K. White's blog, writing about what I'm struggling with in hopes that this will help me clear the struggle away and let me do what I actually want to do with my time and energy. 

As far back as high school, I remember feeling overwhelmed by the number of things I was supposed to be responsible for. And some people would say it wasn't even an over-full plate. School, marching band half the year, weekly activities at church, and whatever chores and hobbies I did at home. But I remember thinking, "If I only had three things I had to keep track of, I think I could handle that." 

Now, as an adult, I still often feel overwhelmed by the number of responsibilities pulling on my time, energy, and attention. And again many people would say it's not that much. I am married, but I don't have children or other dependents. We don't even have a pet at this time. I only work outside the house a couple of days a week. My health is pretty good. 

But on the other hand, five years ago, my husband and I chose to buy an old house that required a full renovation, and we chose to restore it to its original look as much as possible. So that came with a lot of work for us (as well as our contractors). Although we were able to move into the house three years ago, there are still a number of cosmetic projects in progress. And a house and yard require regular maintenance, even when you've just renovated the whole thing. So every week I have some project I try to spend two days on, on top of all the household maintenance. 

And though I say my health is good, I have never been an energetic person. Not a go-getter. Not driven (except for occasional bursts). I may have a mild version of ADHD. I sympathize with many of the descriptions of it--like not getting a feeling of satisfaction from completing a task, only a sense of relief that it's over. And having a terrible time remembering things. 

My husband has a 9-5 office job which takes up much of his energy, so while he's happy to help with some of the household and yard maintenance, he has repeatedly asked me to take on the management of it all--keeping track of what needs doing when. He also expects me to do that with all of the house renovation projects. And I have to do it for our finances, including Roth IRA investments. (This was my choice, to manage those actively, but it can still be hard to figure out a good place to invest our contributions every month.) Then there is decluttering our many possessions (we emptied our storage unit into our living room and most of it's still there months later), car maintenance and repairs. researching large purchases, trying to find a better job situation, keeping up family and friend relationships, spiritual growth...it's a lot!

I'm not good at "a lot." 

I get overwhelmed just seeing a long to-do list, let alone reading it. But when things aren't written down or otherwise visual, I tend to forget about them. 

When I get overwhelmed, my response is usually to check out by watching YouTube, playing a phone game, or both at the same time. And then hours go by, and I don't feel much better, and I haven't made my situation better. So I want to try something different. Telling myself "don't watch YouTube today" doesn't work. So I came up with the idea of this blog as a way to track other things to try, to record any progress, and hopefully give myself a reason to get a little uncomfortable if that's what it takes to knock this to-do list down to a less overwhelming length...if that's even possible.  

Today's Accomplishments

• Weekly volunteer shift (3 hours), signed up for future shifts
• Put new insurance card in car
• Paid a toll notice (before it was overdue!)
• Ran the dishwasher, put away some clean dishes
• Filed some papers
• Made a pitcher of tea, refilled ice trays
• Found a document we need for health insurance renewal
• Read some scripture articles
  
  

Basically took care of some small things so I can think about bigger projects the next two days.